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Notes from Season 2, Episode 1

1. Our Relationship Isn’t Broken

To everyday couples who are not in the Lifestyle, they may look at us and think "Surely their relationship is broken...right?"

On the surface, this might be a logical thought, but incorrect!​  

 

"Although there is still a strong societal disapproval of swinging and a belief that swingers have unsatisfactory marriages and are unhappy with their primary relationships, there is no evidence to support such a claim. My research suggests that perhaps we are witnessing a new social paradigm regarding the dynamics of marriage and consensual extra-marital sex. It is possible that swinging is bringing about a re-definition of marriage and a change in the traditional expectation of marital monogamy. Future research on this topic is warranted and necessary to understand the changing dynamics of marital relationships".

 

Psychology Today: Are Swingers Freaky and Deviant?

The evolution of consensual non-monogamy in America. 

Posted October 9, 2013, Edward Fernandes Ph.D.

What we really want people to know is our relationship is not broken, in fact it is stronger than ever!  We communicate better, are having the best sex (with each other) of our lives, and are experiencing something together!

 

 

2. There are swingers in all walks of life…

People you trust in the community might be swingers.  Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers, Firefighters, Judges, Soldiers, Nurses, and Federal Agents.  All people we know and like in the Lifestyle.  These people life an otherwise ordinary life and are active in the community.  The Lifestyle is as much about friendships and being yourself as it is about the Sex.

3. Swingers aren’t going to try and have sex with your spouse…..

Most couples in the lifestyle practice Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM), also known as Consensual Non Monogamy (CNM).  

It is simply not ethical to proposition or coerce your spouse into having sex with us.  Swingers do not seek to wreck marriages, they seek to build them.  We probably won’t even hit on you at a party….Swingers know how to behave.

4.  Don’t think that you can make advances on us. 

Look, Just because you know we have sex with other people, don’t think that you can make unwanted advances towards us.  You aren’t free to touch us or kiss us.  This is one of our great fears with being outed in our neighborhood!  The fear that men will feel that it is their "right" to touch, because you sleep around.  The fear that woman and men will not want to be around us, in fear that we will "Partner Poach".  Consent is everything to us! 

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5.  Speaking of Consent…..Swingers make Consent Sexy

Swingers are very good at asking for consent.  In fact, normal couples could probably learn a thing or two.  Swingers generally ask what each person is comfortable with before having sex.  They ask for consent during sex for each action “Is it ok if…”. If you don't do this, you probably should.  Just having a simple chat before having sex, whether its in a monogamous relationship or a Lifestyle setting, makes the rest of the night go so much easier.

 

6.  We are having the best sex of our lives….

Not talking about sex with other people.  We, a couple are open and communicate what we want and like in the bedroom, and the sex becomes very good.  “Remember when XYZ did that thing to me?  Can you try it?”  Being open to learning from other partners and being able to bring it into your bedroom can really level up your lives!

 

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